The Unbreakable Bond Chapter 16 - Going Back to My Life…No More Fairy Tale (Alex’s POV)

Chapter 16 ~ Going Back to My Life…No More Fairy Tale (Alex’s POV)

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
- Anais Nin

“Liam listen…I called your house to give you this message but your mom told me you left so I’ll just have to say it here on your voice mail. Liam listen, I was going to leave Taylor for you. That night we made love I gave you my heart, but when I saw you with that other girl, it felt like you threw my gift away. So I’m going to choose to stay with Taylor and you can have your girl. Just try to be happy Liam, please. I’ll….”

Tears were flowing down my face as I hung up the phone and clutched it to my chest, sliding down to the floor by my bed. I wanted to tell him I would love him forever, but I couldn’t. That would have killed us both. I had to move on and try to be happy. I was determined to do just that. I would be strong and tell Taylor everything and hopefully he would still love me and stay with me.

I hadn’t told my mom anything, I had taken Caro to her house then went straight home and up to my room. It had taken me a while until I could even think straight, to even want to call him, but finally I did. Speaking those words killed me, I wanted to tell him that I forgave him, but those words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. The other words, telling him I was going to stay with Taylor, those words came out instead.

They were words I couldn’t take back now even if I wanted too.

I was in my car now, on my way to try to talk to Taylor and explain everything, tell him I love him and beg for his forgiveness. I wanted to try to be happy with him. Just maybe it would all work out for me.

I pulled up to his house, taking a deep as I got out of the car, heading towards his front door. I stood there wondering how in the world I could tell him this, I mean how do you tell a guy you’ve been dating for years that you cheated on him and had sex with someone else, and that you love that someone else, but you want to be with the person your talking too instead? I needed to tell him that I made a huge mistake and that I would take it back if I could, but that was a lie. I would never take that back if I could.

I didn’t even get to knock on the door, Taylor must have seen me standing there through the glass window in the front door and rushed to answer it, picking me up and spinning me around in his arms.

When he set me down I couldn’t say anything, tears flowed down my cheeks as I looked into his happy eyes. What was I doing? Go ahead Alex, hurt another person you care about. He deserves to know and make up his mind about me though. I kept repeating that last part in my mind over and over in my head.

He watched as the tears flowed for a second then pulled me into the house and straight up to his room.



When he closed the door behind him, I slowly made my way over to his bed and sat down. I couldn’t even look at him, I kept my eyes on the floor. I had no idea what to say. But he did the talking for me.

“What did you do Alex? Did you cheat on me or something? I can see it in your face. You’ve done something that is going to hurt us, so here’s the deal, just tell me what it is and we will find a way to get through it. I won’t yell, I’ll just listen to you and try to get through it…hopefully together.”

He was being really nice about it, so I told him everything and was so surprised when he didn’t blow up, he didn’t yell, or anything. He was really quiet for a while and then with me still looking at the floor crying, he turned towards me placing his hands on my cheeks and brought my face up to look him in the eyes.

“It will not happen again, right? You won’t ever see him again?” I nodded my head at him, and in that moment my heart crashed and shattered all over again. Admitting I would never see him again was like taking a knife to my own wrists. Like I was killing myself just by nodding my head.

I wanted to see Liam again, I needed to see him again, but he had hurt me. But as that thought crossed my mind, I thought about how I had hurt him too. I was keeping Taylor around like a replacement part, someone I could always run back to if things went wrong.

I had done Liam wrong too. The emotion that hit me in the moment I realized how much I had hurt him was so over whelming that I doubled over in pain, tears springing forward and flowing down my face. I clutched my chest, it felt like my heart was going to jump right out and fall to the floor and shatter like glass.

Taylor wrapped his arms around me and held me to him, saying nothing. He knew I was hurting, he could see what it was doing to me, but in his weird way he tried to comfort me. I knew in my heart I had to give up on ever being with Liam. He was my past now and I had to live with that. I would live with that….somehow.


After a while, I was able to get up and out of Taylor’s arms. I smiled at him slightly but it was so fake, like generic candy fake.

He reached over and slowly traced my lips with his finger. I couldn’t look him in his eyes. I knew I would see hurt there and maybe even more. Taylor had wanted to have sex with me for months and I had kept telling him no, that I wanted to wait until I was ready. He knew I had given Liam what he himself wanted, so now I knew what I was going to have to do.

I looked up at him finally and let the breath out that I had been holding for god knows how long. I looked into his brilliant eyes that were scorching at me with want, I slowly nodded my head at him letting him know I would give him what he wanted. I could see if I tried to argue with him, he would have said something like ‘ well you gave it to him, why not me?’ So I gave him what he wanted…

He reached over and grabbed my head and brought my lips to his forcefully. To say that Liam’s and Taylor’s love making was total opposite would be an understatement. Liam was slow, reverent, and loving. Taylor was strong, unrelenting, and forceful.

I played the part the whole time, laying there and acting like I was enjoying it. I hated it though, I would never have to act like this with Liam, it was all fake with Taylor. He wouldn’t stop though and I could see he was fighting against his own orgasm so I faked the shit out of one, he totally thought I had gotten off. I guess I was a better actress then I thought.

When he was done with me, he had the largest smile on his face and I guess all was forgiven now. I laid there hurting, not only in obvious ways, but in ways that were unrecognizable to me. I knew my life was changed forever now and there was no going back for me. I made my bed and now I would have to lay in it.

I spent the rest of the day with Taylor and his family, having dinner and watching a movie, he never mentioned what I had done ever again. I went home after the movie and the urge to text Liam or call him was crushing me. I just wanted to hear his voice.

I glanced over and my cell was sticking out of my purse on the passenger seat, so I grabbed it and held it by the steering wheel, I scrolled down to his name in my contact list and let my finger barley sit on the call button. I pulled my car over and hit the green small button.

He answered right way, I just wanted to hear the voice on his voice mail, but he picked up the phone.

“Hello….Alex…I know its you. If you don’t want to say anything then don’t just let me talk to you. Please….” I hung up after that. I couldn’t stand to hear his voice, the pain in my chest was back and I felt like I couldn’t breath. Just hearing his voice was doing that to me.

I sat there in my car for awhile, waiting for the pain to go away. He never called me back either which I was surprised about. After it eased up a little, I started my car up again and drove home, going straight to my room and getting everything together for the next day of school.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next several months, I felt so numb, so torn away from the world. It was the week of graduation and I was just there, barely even realizing what was going on. Taylor was all excited and I, of course, put on a show for him, like I had been doing all the time in front of him now. I wasn’t happy being with him at all anymore, I wanted to be somewhere else, but I felt like I couldn’t be, so I was settling.

Settling for something lesser then the best, Taylor was second best in my eyes and I wanted the best. But don’t we all, you know, want the best of everything. I let my feelings for Liam only surface when I was alone. I had already forgiven him for everything, I just wish I could see him and tell him.

The morning before graduation I was headed down the stairs and my dad called me into the kitchen. As I walked in there, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I retrieved it, looking at the screen, it was a text from the one person I longed to talk to.

Hey, congrats..

Liam

A smile crept on my face and I knew what I wanted to do, so for once I just did it, not even thinking of the consequences.

Hey yourself, how are you? Thanks, you too.

Alexandra

I typed the words and sent them with out another thought. A couple seconds later, before I could even make it to the kitchen, my phone was ringing with his ring tone. I let it play for a few minutes just listening to it, a song playing that I hadn‘t heard in a very long time, just that song made me smile.

I didn’t get to answer it though, he hung up before I could and I was stunned, just staring at my phone, I didn’t get to talk to him. I just stared at the phone for a few seconds, then with a gloomy face I walked into the kitchen. I know my mom knew something was up with me lately, but I had done a good job at hiding everything this time.

When I sat down at the table across from my dad, picking up a piece of bacon and plopping it in my mouth, my dad was smiling at me. I knew something was up right away, he only got that face when something was.

“Okay dad out with it, I see your up to something, just say it. I’m not in the mood for surprises.”

“Fine, grumpy. Take all the fun out of it. Well, your mother and I think you need to get away from everything for a while, so for your graduation gift…” he just let his statement fade.

I looked over at my mom, who was standing by the stove and then back to my dad. What was going on? In my head I was thinking okay please say you are sending me to spend time in La Push, please say La Push, but La Push wasn’t the words that came out of his mouth.

“You’re going to get to go to Italy for six weeks, we have it all planned out and paid for. You leave two days after graduation. Leah remembered you saying once you wanted to go there, so we wanted to give you something you would want, so this is what we got you. I’ll miss you like crazy but we think you need this. Time away from everything and everyone.” He emphasized the word everyone, he still didn’t like Taylor at all.

I was so excited, I had always wanted to go overseas and see Italy and Rome and all the other beautiful sights there. I loved to speak Italian, I learned it in high school and I loved anything Italian. I jumped over and hugged my dad and my mom and thanked them, I was so excited.

I ran up to my room to call Caro and tell her all about my trip, she was so excited for me, but I knew she wished she could go with me. Her and her mom were having a hard time right now and they weren’t getting along. Carolyn had a thing for my uncle Seth, something I had known for a long time, but her mom was against it totally, she said he was too old for her daughter.

She had forbidden Caro to even talk to him. Carolyn was suffering and depressed really bad, but I didn’t know what to do. I even called Seth one day and told him everything and he sounded so sad too. He said they texted sometimes so he knew what was going on, but he had no idea how to fix it. He promised to try though.

Graduation day came faster then I thought possible, it wasn’t really graduation that had me excited though, the prospect of leaving was. I had told Taylor about the trip and he wasn’t happy about me going away at all. He kept saying things like ‘I wish you weren’t going’ or ‘I wish I could go with you.’ It was getting old fast.

The graduation didn’t take long though, it was fast. They called my name, I got my diploma, heard my mom and dad yelling, then got off the stage. It was fast and easy.

I didn’t get anymore text or calls from Liam until the day I was leaving for Italy. I was getting ready to board the plane and his text startled me. I grabbed my phone out of my carry on and looked at the screen. I smiled but didn’t have time to answer the text, instead I put it back in my carry on. I boarded the plane and sat down in my first class seat. I dug out my phone again, while all the passengers where getting seated and typed out a text.

I’m on a plane leaving for Italy…TTYL..

Before I could push the send button, someone sat down in the big comfy seat next to me, and when I looked over at this person to smile I was shocked.

Posted in: The Unbreakable Bond