Chapter 20- A Change of Heart
It wasn’t Edward or Jasper or Emmett, it was Felix! That was all I saw, I stood there staring at him and into his eye’s. Into those red eye’s that I had trusted, trusted not to hurt me, trusted to love me, but I had been totally wrong. I couldn’t look away from him. I was so scared that he had hurt Edward or his brothers, I could barely contain my anger towards him, everything I saw had a bright red tint to it. Like everything and everyone could feel my anger, like it became a part of the anger or fueled it. Alice was standing by me trying to comfort me, but it didn’t work. Nothing could comfort me now, the only thing that would do that would be to see Edward I thought to myself. And I wasn’t seeing him, I was only seeing Felix.
Then I saw Felix stumble, but that didn’t make since to me, vampires don’t stumble. I looked at him again and saw Emmett behind him, it looked like Emmett had pushed him forward. Standing to Emmett’s left was Jasper and to his right was my reason for existing, my Edward.
He didn’t appear to be harmed in any way. His clothes didn’t even have a rip in them. When I saw this the red tint faded away. I couldn’t help it anymore, I burst out the back door and ran right into his arms. I started kissing him. I couldn’t help it, I had been so scared that I had lost him. I slid my tongue over his bottom lip, asking more like begging for entrance. He let me have it, with a chuckle. Our tongues glided with a joyous tongue wrestle. That’s when I heard Felix mutter something to me. I had Emmett stop pushing him so I could speak to him.
“Emm, let him go for a second. He won’t hurt me!”
“I could never hurt you, Izzy!” Felix whispered.
“You already did Felix, when you took me away from Edward.” I stated angrily.
“How could you leave without saying goodbye? How could you choose him over me, Izzy. I love you! If I didn’t, don’t you think I would have let Aro just kill you or let him change you himself? No, I choose to do it, because what I feel for you. Don’t you see it? Don’t you feel it?” he asked me, he looked so devastated.
“Felix, you don’t understand. I love Edward, I have loved him since the first time I walked into the cafeteria of my high school and saw him sitting there with his family. I loved him when he wanted to kill me, while sitting next to me in our biology class. I loved him even when he broke my heart and left me. I will never stop loving him. He is my life, my love, my reason for being. I can’t live without him, when I was in Voltera I kept feeling this pull like I was in the wrong place and with the wrong person, like my heart belonged somewhere else and it did, it belongs to Edward. Felix, you could take me again, take my memory away from me, but I will still feel the love for Edward. It will never go away. I’m sorry Felix, but we aren’t meant to be together. I left you a special note on your bed, didn’t you get it?”
“A note? No I didn’t get any note? What did it say?” he asked me looking totally puzzled.
“It said, if you truly loved me then, let me go and let me be happy?” He looked at me with those sad eye’s. Then he whispered.
“But, I do love you. That’s why its so hard to let you go. I’ve never loved someone like this before, Izzy. Sure, I’ve had my share of women, but nothing compares with you! No one will ever compare to you, not even close.”
“Felix, if you love me that much, let me be happy! Let me be with Edward. Let me live though my existence loved by the man I love. I’m sorry Felix.” I said, I reached up and touched his face. I saw Edward in the corner of my eye, he had his hands balled up into tight fists. I shook my head at him and smiled.
I looked back at Felix and kept my hand cradling his face. Then I spoke to him again. Then I took his face in both of my hands.
“Felix, just let me go. There is someone out there for you, that will complete you like Edward completes me. She will love you like you love me. She will be everything to you! Wait for her. Just let me go.” I let one of my hands drop away from his face, then I reached up and kissed his cheek and took my other hand away. I went to step away and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.
“Ok, Izzy. I will let you go. Just be happy and that will make me happy. I don’t know about loving anyone else, I think you are it for me, but I will let you be happy.” he kissed my check and my hand then he turned to Edward. “If you break her, I will break you, and that is a promise not a threat! Take care of her, she is an amazing and beautiful person.” I saw Edward shake his head and said.
“Yes she is. We both know that. And Felix I would never hurt her, I promise you that. I know you created her because you love her, but she is the love of my existence. I have waited over a hundred years for her. I would never do anything to hurt her, I promise!”
“I’m sorry we took her. I’m not sorry I love her though.” he said to Edward then he turned towards me again. “Izzy, I’m sorry I let them do that to you. I was scared you would go back to him and wouldn’t choose me. I’m so sorry! I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done to you.” I walked back over to him and kissed his cheek again and whispered into his ear.
“It’s ok, Felix, I know you were just doing what you were told to do. I forgive you, just be happy Felix, please! And never forget your Izzy. Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Anything” he told me, still looking into my eye’s.
“Felix, it was Licy right, who took my memories? I need to know. I don’t have them all back yet and what I remember is that she was always there when it happened.”
“Yeah, she has the power to take someone’s memories away. It’s a physical attack on your brain, that’s why it worked on you. She literally wipes your memories away, but somehow, you still blocked her. That’s how you remembered Edward, well that’s what Aro thinks any way’s, I now can see he was wrong, it wasn’t your power that blocked her, it was your love that did it. Some of your memories might never come back and for that I am truly sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am.” he told me.
“It’s ok Felix, I told you I forgive you.” I went over to stand next to Edward when I said this to him, Edward placed his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me again, his hands went from my face down my neck to my waist. He was moving them really slowly. I wanted nothing more than him right now.
Felix took one more look at me and I smiled at him. He went to leave then he turned around and smiled and whispered. “I’ll always love you my Izzy!” Then he waved to me and walked into the woods.
Jasper and Emmett walked away from us and into the house to meet up with Alice and Rose to assure them that all was ok now. I turned towards Edward and said.
“I love you, with all my heart and all my soul! I sure hope it’s all over now.”
“As I love you my Bella.” he kissed my forehead, then I felt him stiffen. “Bella, I’m not sure over yet.”
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