Chapter 4 ~ Life of the Everyday Fireman…(Edwards Pov)
The funny thing about firemen is, night and day, they are always firemen. ~Gregory Widen, Backdraft
I had a week after graduation for myself before I started work. It was so quiet and boring at my house, though I had tried to be anywhere but there. I spent a lot of time at Emmett’s apartment with him. I knew he was getting sick of me, but I hated being at my place, it was killing me slowly being there.
Lindz was gone, but her presence wasn’t. I could smell her on the sheets even though I’ve washed them about ten times trying to make it go away. I could still see her by the kitchen stove trying to cook pancakes for me, even though she couldn’t cook worth a lick. I could feel her wrapping her arms around me by the back sliding glass door while we watched the sun set one night.
I was going to have to do something about it though, maybe I should move, get a place smaller then this one. This one had so much room, too much for someone who wasn’t going to be here all the time. I bought this house for Lindz, she loved it and just had to have it. Now I hated it so much I wanted to tear the walls down or burn it to the ground, smoldering the memories within the ashes.
The week was torturing me, so when the week was over I was the happiest person to go to work, never thought I’d be thinking that, but I was all shits and grins that day.
I got up, showered, dressed, grabbed my bag and rushed out of that house. While in the shower this morning I made up my mind, that I was going to keep the house, but rent it out and get myself a small apartment like Emmett‘s. Plus it would give me some extra money.
When I arrived at the fire house Jo was walking out, she was just coming off her first twenty-four hour shift. She looked really tired.
“Hey Jo, how was it?”
She looked up at me and smiled, but you could still tell she was tried.
“It was great. We had a car wreck and a house fire last night. But I’m beat, I’m heading home and crashing. Oh, and watch out for Hot sauce.”
“Hot sauce?” I asked wondering what in the world she was talking about.
“Just trust me, watch out for hot sauce.” I nodded my head at her and watched as she lumbered over to her truck and got in.
As I walked into the fire house I could hear Emmett’s booming laugh over everyone else’s, but I couldn’t see anyone. I walked into the kitchen area and there they all were. Emmett was sitting next to my mom and all the other firemen, they were all laughing their asses off at something but as soon as they saw me they stopped.
Esme looked up at me and tried her best not to look like a proud mother but she failed miserably. I smiled at her and turned around to head towards the bunks. When I reached the room I saw Jasper sitting on the bunk I wanted with a huge smile on his face.
“Dude get up, you know that’s my bunk.” He just kept on smiling at me as he got up off the bed.
Walking over to one of the others not occupied, he sat his stuff down on the bed. I looked over at him, he was staring at his phone laughing.
“What the fuck are you laughing at?” I asked.
“Alice just texted me, we’ve talked all the time this past week. We are going out this Saturday to that new bar down the road from my place.”
Before I could say anything, Emmett came into the room and started barking orders at us. I looked over at Jasper and we both said the same damn thing at the same damn time.
“It starts…”
The day was great, we were what they called rookies so we got to do all the grunt work. Clean the bathrooms, clean the bays that the trucks were in, truck checks, truck maintenance, wash hose, lace hose, take the hoses here, there, and every where. It was crazy. Emmett was getting a kick out of bossing us around too, I could see it in his face.
Right around dinner time we were told that we had to make dinner for everyone, that it was the job of the rookies to cook. I knew better then complain, that would only make it worse. Why would I complain though? I was doing something I loved and I wasn’t stuck in that house where the memories were eating me alive.
Jasper and I were in the kitchen making chili when my mom, or the chief, came in and over to the pot, dipping a spoon in to taste it. She knew I could cook really well, but she acted like she had no clue. Jasper just chuckled making Esme smile at both of us as well.
“Tastes great guys, how’s your first day going?”
“It’s going great, chief,” I said with my signature crooked smile.
We got the chili done and out to our shift mates. As we were eating, Emmett slid a bottle of hot sauce down to me and Jasper.
“Okay boys, this is something we do with all the new rookies.” I knew right away that this was what Jo had warned me about. I smirked at Emmett, as I looked over at Jasper. Emmett continued with his story. “ So since all rookies think they can handle anything hot and that they are so strong, this is how we try to show them that it takes more then big muscles to fight fires. This is what you have to do. I will be doing it with you all to show you that I’m not scared and can handle it. You will chug the whole bottle of hot sauce.”
I knew my eyes were huge and so were Jaspers. I knew I could say no and not do this, so that’s what I did.
“Dude, there is no fucking way I’m doing that shit. Fuck that.” Esme smiled and nodded her head at me.
I looked over at Jasper and saw it right away, he was actually thinking about doing this. He was going to chug it. I’ve seen Jazz use hot sauce on everything, but I didn’t think he could chug it. Jaspers voice brought me out of my thoughts.
“So Emmett your going to do this with me right? What do I get if I do this?”
“You wont have to do kitchen duty for your next two shifts. Look, I’ll do it first, that way you can see that it can be done.” As Em said this he twisted the lid off his bottle and placed it to his lips not even flinching as it touched his lips.
Emmett is a big guy and I’ve seen him take a lot of shit, but what I saw next surprised the hell out of me. Emmett tipped the bottle up and chugged the whole contents of his hot sauce bottle, without a sweat or a flinch. He didn’t even stop to take a breath. As he finished he slammed the bottle down on the table with a ‘ahhh’ sound.
I was so stunned that he could actually do that and not be dying for something to drink. He wasn’t even fanning himself. I looked over at Jasper and he unscrewed the lid and tipped the bottle up, his eyes went huge at once, but he didn’t stop until the whole bottle was empty.
It went silent all around the table, Emmett looked shocked this time as Jasper was trying to control the raging fire in the pit of his stomach. His face was turning blood red and his eyes were full of tears. After a few seconds of complete silence, Jasper darted towards the kitchen. Emmett and Esme went after him, Esme hitting him in the back of the head on the way there. I was totally thanking Jo in my head for not letting me have to go through that, for warning me. I just wished I had warned Jasper.
The rest of my shift was totally uneventful, not one damn call. I was totally disappointed, I craved a call to go to, my first shift sucked ass.
The next morning at six a.m. my shift was officially over. Jasper and I headed out of the fire house and to our vehicles. Esme stopped us on the way out and told us to have a good day and get some sleep. She also told us both to come by the house the next day for dinner. We both agreed and got into our vehicles and headed to our homes.
When I got the house I couldn’t stand to even look at. I went to the mail box and grabbed my mail, muttering to myself as I crossed the street back towards the house.
“Bill, bill, bill….” I couldn’t speak as I saw the next piece of mail. It was addressed to me from Lindz. My heart was thudding in my chest…I couldn’t take my eyes away from her name on the envelope.
I slowly walked back into a house that was once ours and sat down on the couch, throwing the rest of the mail on the coffee table, only keeping her letter in my hand. It smelled like her, like wildflowers. I missed her so much, even more with her letter and her smell permeating around me.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, I slowly opened the envelope and took the letter from its confines. I closed my eyes, not wanting to actually read the words she had written, but still in my heart wanting to hear her thoughts.
Edward,
Hello. I know I really have no right to be writing to you, but I have no one else to actually to talk to. I still have no memory of who you were to me but I feel very close to you. I can feel the strong bond we had together. The doctors here are really great and understanding. They all think that I should, after some time, get my memory back. I’m not that positive myself, really, but I’m trying.
I had a dream the other night about you. You were pushing me on a swing in a field, it looked like out in the middle of nowhere. It was beautiful, full a flowers and I could hear rushing water off in the distance. I can’t remember anything else of the dream, but the beauty of the meadow we were in and the feel of you pushing me up in the air. Is it real? Did we really do that?
I know I really have no right to ask anything from you, with me leaving like I did, but could you write me back? Could you maybe tell me some things about our life together or even your life there? I really just stay here in the house without a single person to really talk to.
I wasn’t even going to write this letter because of all I did, but I hope you have the heart to at least read it.
With all my….
Lindsay
I stared at that letter for what seemed like hours, but it was only minutes at the most. I was frozen, glued to the words she had written. First, I was pissed that she had no one to talk to, I could see my Lindz sitting there bored out of her mind, upset and not able to get it all out, that would kill her. Secondly, I wished she didn’t fear writing me, I hated that. Yeah she left me and all and I feared opening the letter, but she shouldn’t fear me. Thirdly, the dream wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.
I took her to my meadow by my parents house that had burned down. She sat down on the swing, that beautiful smile lighting up her face in the warm sunshine. You could smell the flowers from miles before you got to that meadow. I pushed her on my swing for hours that day. It was a magical day and I remembered it like it was yesterday.
I’m hoping it was a sign that maybe her memory was coming back, but like her, I just couldn’t get my hopes up. Still paralyzed from the words of the letter, feeling her so close to me with her words, I took out a piece of paper and wrote her back.
I told her that she could write any time and that I would try really hard to answer every letter she wrote to me. I told her how the dream was real and described the whole day to her in detail. The smells, sounds, sights, everything, like we were really there. I told her everything about that day, the picnic we had on the ground, going down to the little brook and putting our feet in the water, everything I could think of I told her. I also told her about renting out our house and how it was just too much room for just me, I hoped she would understand.
My next shift, again started out so slow, not a call, until late that afternoon.
As the tones went off for my first official call, the adrenaline pumped throughout my body, I was scared and excited at the same time. The call came across the pagers in the firehouse blaring throughout my own as well, the call was a house fire. I ran to my gear placing my hands on the boots connected to my pants and put my feet in, pulling the bunker gear up at the same time. Grabbing my coat and my helmet, I jumped into the truck next to Emmett, who had a huge ass grin on his face.
“You ready for this little brother?” I smiled at him nodding my head, but I really wasn’t ready for what I saw when we arrived on the scene.
Jumping out of the truck I stood there for a second, taking in the devastating scene before me. Esme stared at me a moment before she came to me and shook me a little.
“Edward, lets go. We have to get in there, they said there might be a little girl in there.” The words she spoke shook me out of it, not her shaking me. I went around the back of the truck to pull some hoses and Emmett placed his large hand on my shoulder.
“Let’s go,” he said
He handed me an air tank and mask, or a Self contained breathing apparatus, blah blah blah, I hated all those stupid terms that were still stuck in my head from the academy terms that we really never used. I followed Emmett towards the house and he showed me how to go in the house, even though I knew, but he said he had to still show me. I heard the whimpering sound coming from where I was standing. Tapping Em on the shoulder I pointed towards what looked like a living room. He nodded and we headed towards the sound, putting small flames out on our way.
I saw the little girl first. I picked her little body up in my arms and she curled into me, not scared of me at all. Tears came in a torrential down pour, leaving streaks down her soot stained cheeks, as she buried her face in my coat. I reassured her that it was going to be okay and Emmet followed us out of the house. It caved in as we made it out to the truck, there was no way we could have saved the house. I was happy to see that the little girls parents had made it though, she wouldn’t have to live with the nightmares I had to live with constantly.
I carried the little girl over to the paramedics and to a lovely blonde haired woman. She smiled at me telling me ‘Good Job’. She looked down at the little girl and asked her to tell her what her name was. I froze as the little girl spoke her name.
“My name is Lindsay.”
Her parents were by her side by then and all I could do was stare into the little girl’s eyes as tears threatened to spill over the rim of my eyes. I vaguely heard the woman tell the little girl that it was going to be okay, that she was going to take care of her and that her name was Rosalie but that Lindsay could call her Rose. I had saved Lindsay’s life as her world came crashing in around her. Her house I couldn’t save just like I couldn’t stay in Lindz’s and my house, but I did save my Lindz.
I backed away from the little girl, being patted on the back, being told ‘Good Job’ over and over, I didn’t feel like I did a good job though. Yeah I saved that little girl, her parents are okay, but I still, for some reason, felt like I had failed.
The ride back to the fire house was quiet, no one talked to me and if they did, I wasn’t really paying any attention. I stared out the window of the truck, thinking about Lindz and the day of the car accident, thinking about what would have happened if I hadn’t saved her, how I would have lost her. But the thing was, even with everything I had done I had lost her, so was it really worth it? She was alive it had to be worth it. That was the last thought that crossed my mind as we backed the truck into the fire house.
As soon as I jumped out of the truck Emmett was by my side telling me all about the paramedic that was on the scene, the one named Rose, Yeah, Emmett was head over heels already. He wouldn’t shut up. Finally I had enough and walked back towards the bunks to lie down, but I wasn’t alone very long.
“Edward are you okay?” the Chief asked me. But I could tell she wasn’t asking me as the chief, she was asking me as my mom.
Nodding my head at her she sat down on the bed next to me and stared directly in my eyes.
“Mom, I’m moving out of the house and going to get an apartment like Emmett’s, I just can’t live there anymore,” I said, shaking my head sadly. “Its just too much and then that call and that little girl being named Lindsay, wow. I just don’t know, I got a letter from Lindz the other day and she doesn’t sound like she is okay, she sounds miserable. I hate that, I want her here in my arms, in our house, I just want my Lindz back.”
“I know Edward, I know. I think you moving is a good thing, maybe give you a new start. What are you going to do with the house?” Esme asked.
“I thought about renting it out to someone. Not sure yet, I just know I can’t live there anymore. Do you think Emmett…” I was cut off by Emmett’s loud laugh.
“Do you think Emmett can what?” he asked smiling.
“If I get an apartment would you help me move?”
“Sure, of course I would. Hey, actually there is an apartment available where I live. I could put in a good word for you.” I smiled at him and nodded my head.
Two weeks later I was packing up and moving into my new apartment, everyone was at my house to help out, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and even Jo came to help me pack up and move. It was weird packing up certain things that Lindz and I had gotten together. We had so many memories that I cherished, things I just couldn’t get rid of, things I was shipping to Lindz, things that I was taking with me.
I hadn’t gotten a letter back from Lindz yet and I was a little disappointed. I wanted to know that she was okay with what I was doing. I mean it was her house too even if she didn’t remember it.
It took us all day to get everything packed up and moved over to my apartment, it wasn’t really small at all, it was perfect actually. Once everything was packed in and set up, everyone left.
Emmett had a double date tonight with Rose, Jasper, and Alice. I was excited for him, he needed someone to kick him around and she looked like just the type. I had decided to pull a extra shift at the fire house tonight, so I got dressed and headed out.
As soon as I pulled in though, the tones were going off.
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