Chapter 11 - What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger (Steven’s Pov)
“Steve,” Leah said in total shock.
I stood on the porch staring at my beautiful wife. Staring straight into her beautiful, deep brown eyes. She was clutching to the door as if she might fall, like it was her life line and it alone would hold her up. I was home with my Leah and my little girl, I will be their lifeline again.
The sound of a plate shattering on the floor echoed throughout the house. The loud crash of the broken dish caused me to look beyond my love and I saw my daughter standing there with her hand over her mouth in utter shock. In her blue eyes, the eyes of her mother, I saw sadness and happiness both at the same time. Those eyes were deep like the ocean and right at this moment, the emotions coming from them were just as fierce.
I heard a sob come from Leah, so I tore my eyes away from our daughter and directed them back to my wife. My mind was going in a hundred different directions. Imagine how they must be feeling. That’s when I really took her in. I let my eyes wander from her beautiful face, down her delicate neck, her slender shoulders, to oh my……Leah’s hand was tenderly caressing her stomach. Her stomach was round with child…..my child. I was going to be a daddy again. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her stomach.
Nobody had moved a muscle, with the thoughts going through my head about being a daddy again I had to break that. I took the two steps to enter the house and went right to my wife and the mother of my unborn child and placed my hands on her plump belly. I raised my eyes towards hers and tears were rolling down both our faces.
“Leah,” I whispered.
That was all it took and she was in my arms crying hysterically into my shoulder. I just held her trying to calm her but letting her get it all out too. She must have thought I was dead and I really don’t know how I would feel if I thought she was dead and she came back to me. I would be devastated if anything ever happened to my Leah. So I just held her to me, trying to take all the pain she was feeling on myself.
I heard Alex take a sobbing breath and looked towards her. She looked me right in the eyes and then ran head long into me, almost knocking Leah and me over in the process.
“Daddy, I thought you were dead.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around her and Leah and held them both standing in the doorway for several minutes. I never wanted to let them go again. My devastating time in the water and on that island was over and I was back in the arms of the ones I loved.
I ushered them towards the couch and had Leah and Alex both sit down. I guess they felt the same way about not letting go because they clutched tightly to me and pulled me down with them. We sat there on the couch in silence for several more minutes, but of course the curiosity of my little girl got the better of her.
“What happened dad? We thought you were gone. I didn’t know what to do daddy.” The tears were still rolling down her face as she asked this.
I knew they would want to know about everything that happened, but right now I wanted to know about my Leah and how she and the baby was.
“Wait just a minute Alex. Leah I can’t believe we are having a baby. How is he or she? How are you? I want to know everything that has happened since I was gone.” I asked these questions a little frantic. I needed to know that her and the baby were okay.
“Steve I want to know what happened to you first.” Leah took a breath and stared me down with that look in her eyes, you know that look the one that says ‘you better tell me what I want to know or I’ll kill you look.’ So I knew I had to tell her.
“Tell me first are you and the baby okay? Healthy?” I asked. She just placed her hand on her stomach again and nodded her head at me. Her hair floated down in soft waves and framed her beautiful face…the same beautiful face I had pictured so many times to keep me going, to keep myself strong. I brushed her hair away and behind her left ear, then started with my story.
“Well, I was leaning a little too far over the rail when I fell overboard. I almost was pulled under when the ship went by me, well I actually was pulled under the boat but luckily I got back up to the surface before the propellers could get to me. When I surfaced, I tried Leah, I swear I tired to get back to the ship and to you.” I hoped she didn’t think I didn’t try. “But you were too far and I couldn’t reach you. I remember feeling totally helpless and then I remember nothing. I was told I must have blacked out from the head injury. I hit my head on the boat when I fell.”
Leah never stopped crying the whole time I was talking. I told her all about the things I could remember, like the crazy dreams I had when I was unconscious. They were some crazy ass shit. Like one of them was about these dolphins, but they weren’t just ordinary dolphins, they were so strong and powerful that they saved me. They pulled me right out of the water and took me to a island and made sure I was taken care of.
Another one was about these pirates that rescued me but they wanted to sell me to these other guys, these guys were in the sex trade. They wanted to sell me so I could have sex with all these women. I remember yelling ‘Fuck No’…and fighting them off of me. Like I said, crazy shit. I whispered this one in Leah’s ear though, so Alex didn’t hear. Of course that pissed Alex off, she was giving me the evil eye the whole time. But I didn’t want my little girl to know about that kind of stuff.
Leah laughed at the dreams and just held my hand so tight that I was thinking her hand would melt into mine. Her hands were always so warm and inviting. I missed her so much.
I told the whole story about me being in a coma for several months and not knowing anything that happened to me when I woke up. I hadn’t known who I was or how I had gotten to the hospital at all. I hated telling her that I didn’t know at the time who she was or even Alexandra. That pained me so much to see that hurt in their eyes.
I was here now though and I hope I can make this up to them and be with them. I never wanted to leave them ever again.
“So how did you get back? I mean someone had to save you right?” Leah asked.
“Hey,” she said as I opened my eyes. Where was I? She smiled at me then got up out of a chair and walked out of the room.
I looked around the room; it looked like a hospital room. She came right back in with a doctor following closely behind her. They were both smiling at me, but I didn’t feel like smiling. I needed answers and I was going to get them.
The doctor came over to me and started to examine me before I could even start to ask these questions. I had no clue what was going on. I didn’t even know who I was or how I got in the hospital.
“What’s going on? What happened to me? Who am I?” I asked my eyes darting back and forth between the woman and the doctor. I was hoping they could answer these questions for me.
They proceeded to explain everything to me about what they thought had happened to me. About Marie, which was the ladies name, saving me from the water and bringing me here. All about me being unconscious for a long time, the doctor even told me that it was normal for me to be muddled about what had happened to me, with the head injury that I had sustained. But I wasn’t just a little muddled, I had no clue about anything.
I was in the hospital for a long time, Marie stayed with me the whole time. I knew in my heart that I didn’t love her but I had someone some where that I did love and that loved me. I just needed to remember who she was and get back to her.
Then one day it all came to me, Leah was my love and I had a little girl named Alexandra but she went by Alex and my name was Steve. I wanted to get back to them, I even tried at the time but the doctor made me get right back in bed.
“I need to get back to Leah and Alex, please I have to go now,” I pleaded with him to no avail. He suggested I call them but I really didn’t want to shock her like that. Leah had been through enough in her life and I felt no need to shock her over the phone like that. They probably thought I was dead.
I was really pissed when the doc told me I had at least a week or two of physical therapy to complete before I went back home. So I went ahead and tried to call her, but the phone was either always busy or I got the answering machine and there was no way I was leaving a message of that magnitude to come home to hear. I would wait and go home and see her and explain to her what happened.
So I went through the week of pain and torture of physical therapy and then Marie was nice enough to fly me back to Sacramento International airport. When we got there I hailed a cab to take me home. But Marie stopped me before I could get in.
“She’s a lucky woman your Leah, to have you. I’m so glad I was there to get you out of that water and to help you get back to her and your daughter. Be happy together Steve.”
“Thanks for everything Marie,” I told her and got into the cab and headed towards my love.
“Hello Steve, what happened? How did you get back home to us?” Leah asked me again. I must have spaced out there for a minute remembering everything. So I went on to explain everything to her.
“Yah well, someone was flying over the water and saw me I guess and she flew down and saved me. She got me to the hospital I guess, that was what I was told. Her name is Marie and she helped me get to where I am now. She flew me back to Sacramento International and I caught a cab here,” I said with a shrug. “And well, here I am, back with my two loves, my little girl and my wife. Well I guess it would be three loves now. Leah how much longer until this one is born? It can’t be too much longer!”
“I’m actually seven months pregnant. I can’t believe its you, you are actually here, I’m actually touching you.” She rambled on and on with happiness in her voice and in her eyes. I placed my hand on her face rubbing her check with my thumb. I slowly bent in to kiss her. The kiss full of slow burning passion and love started to get a little heated then we heard Alex clear her throat and giggle, which in return made us laugh too.
After the good laugh I bent back down and I rubbed my nose over her check bone and she smelled exactly like I remembered. Like lilac and honey mixed together. I didn’t want to go another second without her. I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she felt the same way.
“I’ve missed so much since I’ve been home its just gotten worse. I….I…,” Leah had to stop, she was sobbing again. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me.
“I know Leah. Ever since I realized who I was and that you were probably at home wondering what actually happened to me, I’ve done nothing but think of you and tried to get home to you. I even tried to leave the hospital on my own. I love you Leah. I’m so sorry. Oh Leah I love you so much.”
I looked over as Alex let out a guttural sound, her sobs always tore at my heart. She had brought her knees up to her chest, her shoes on the couch and her arms wrapped around her legs. I kissed Leah’s head and released her. She knew what I was going to do, so she let me go.
I wrapped my arms around my beautiful daughter kissing the top of her head. She just leaned into me. I whispered how much I loved her and how sorry I was to her as well.
“Daddy I felt like I had lost everything. I messed everything up with Liam and I thought I had lost you forever, I felt so…lost.” As she said the last word I felt like my heart would rip right out of my chest it was beating so hard. My little girl had felt like she was lost. That last thought would haunt me forever now.
I pulled away from her and looked down at her and she even looked lost. The look of her right now would also haunt me now, I knew this. She was wearing a large hoodie and jeans, nothing cute even, just a gray hoodie. Her hair wasn’t even fixed. Did she go to school like this? What does she mean she messed things up with Liam? I didn’t know what to think about what she meant about messing things up with him. So I looked at her again and smiled.
“Well I’m home now and you are not lost. I’ve got you, do you hear me.” She just stared at me with the tears streaming down her face, then she shook her head and hugged me so tightly I couldn’t breath. I kissed her head again and just held onto her.
We sat on the couch for a while just holding each other and loving each other. We had so much to catch up on and make up for on my part.
I was finally home. All the things that had happened to Leah, Alex, and me were over for now. Hopefully I could make this all up to them somehow. I had to or at least try anyways. We were having a baby of our own, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I was the luckiest man alive.
Later that night after Leah and I had made slow passionate love for the second time, she explained all the stuff that had happened with Alex in La Push. What her mom had told her about Alex being in the hospital while Leah was out searching for me. My heart ripped into shreds when I heard all of this and as I listened to the whole story of what my family had been through in my absence.
Leah told me what had happened at my memorial and what happened when they got back home and that it was Alex’s decision to come back home. Leah had asked her what she had wanted to do and I loved her even more for that.
She told me about Alex and her school work and how her grades had gone down to failing since I’ve been gone. I was pissed off about that, but I understood it. We would be talking tomorrow and figuring out a way to get them back up to where they were.
I looked at my Leah as she finished telling me all this and placed my hand on her stomach and our baby kicked my hand. I smiled at that…he or she was strong. And hopefully happy. I knew he or she would be so loved and already was.
“I love you little one,” I whispered to Leah’s belly and to our newest addition to our little family.
As I looked up I saw Leah smiling at me. I raised back up and placed small soft kisses on her jaw line and then her nose and finally her lips.
“I love you my Leah.”
We would be okay now, because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I knew that first hand now, so did my family.
That was my last thought before Leah and I headed off into another round of sweet bliss.
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