Chasing Fire Chapter 6 - Pain Beyond Measure (Bella’s POV)

Chapter 6 ~ Pain Beyond Measure (Bella’s POV)

Things have a terrible permanence when people die.
- Joyce Kilmer

Driving home from College I couldn’t wait to see my mom, dad, and of course, my best friend Jake. There’s this thing with Jake though, I think he wanted more, which I didn‘t. I just wanted us to be friends, I had never seen him that way. I knew he saw me that way though. Sometimes it hurt me to hurt him and not take that next step with him, but I just couldn’t do it.

Cranking the radio, trying my hardest to drawn out the thoughts of Jake and I as more, I sped off towards my mom and dads.

Once I arrived at the house that I had lived in all my life, I got unpacked and settled in. I was going to be staying in Forks for at least a week.

The thing I didn’t realize at the time was how short a week actually was. Faster then I thought possible it was the day of Thanksgiving and I was helping my mom in the kitchen with all the food. Pulling out the pumpkin pie I heard the Jakes car pull up. I placed the pie down on the table and ran to the door to hold it open so Jake could bring his dads chair in.

“Hey you,” I said, holding the door open and smiling at both of them.

“Hey yourself. Damn something smells good in there.” I knew he would smell the pie.

“That would be my pumpkin pie, just pulled it out of the oven. Everything else is almost done, Charlie’s in the living room with the game already on. I have to get back in there before my mom burns something.”

Hugging Jake real quick, I went back into the kitchen to see my mom standing there not knowing what to do. She really wasn’t a good cook at all and heaven forbid Charlie try to cook, he would burn down the whole house.

Walking over to the stove, I pulled the turkey out of the oven and sat it down on the counter then went to cut up the potatoes for get them ready to mash. It was like old times in this house, we always had thanksgiving dinner together. Billy and Jake were like family to us, since Jakes mom died, they had always come here to eat.

Mom and I stood there talking as I was cutting the potatoes and were laughing over a story I had just told her about my friend Justin, from school, and how he had asked me out like fifteen times and wouldn’t give up, when I heard Jake walk in the room.


“What’s so funny in here?”

“Nothing just catching up,” I told him. I caught the gleam in his eyes when he looked at me and knew those feelings he had for me were creeping up on him again. He didn’t say anything though, he grabbed a coke and walked back into the living room with me watching him as he went.

“Bella, you know that boy has it bad for you and has for years, you know that right? Why not try, you know with Jake?” my mom asked me, giving me that look that said…I know what you’re going to say but I had to put it out there.

“Mom, come on. It’s Jake, my best friend, I couldn’t do that to us. If something went wrong and I couldn’t fix it, I would hate myself for messing up our friendship.”

“Yeah, but what if it went right.” She just shrugged her shoulders after saying her piece and I went back to work on the food.

The dinner went great but I was so exhausted by the time the night was over that I crashed and didn’t wake up until after ten the next morning. I was supposed to be at the firehouse to have lunch with Jake around noon, so I jumped in the shower and got dressed. I went to the Chinese place that we both loved that was in town. I had thought about bringing leftovers but I had enough turkey the night before.

Our lunch turned out to be really nice, we talked and got caught up some more. He told me all about his job and how it was going.

After lunch I headed home and started working on a paper I had to do for school. I got to spend more time with Jake three days later, he had switched shifts with someone and had the whole day free so he invited me down to the rez to hang out at the beach. It was such a beautiful day outside that I agreed to go and brought my schoolwork with me. It was fun and relaxing hanging out with Jake, it always had been, but I didn’t know if I wanted what everyone else could see happening between us.

The day flew by and he had to go to work that night so I told him goodbye, since it was probably the last time we would have to spend together alone before I left to head back to school. He looked really sad and I hated seeing him like that, but what did he want me to do, not go back to school? Then what? Marry him and live happily ever after here on the rez? This just wasn’t a place for me, I wanted to do something with my life, and if I stayed here I wouldn’t.

So, without looking at his sad face I got in my car and headed towards my mom and dad’s place.

Pulling into the driveway, I leaned back into the seat taking a deep breath and looked at the house. Slowly I got out of the truck and went into the house and climbed the stairs to head to my room. My mom was in the living room watching soaps and dad was at work so it was peaceful at the moment.

I looked over at the tiny alarm clock on the side table by my bed and the little red numbers told me it was a little after four o’clock. I decided I would get more work done on my paper for school then I would pack up and get everything ready to head out and back to school tomorrow, but my plans changed.

I started working on my paper, sprawled out on my bed with my laptop and papers all spread before me, when I heard the smoke detectors blaring and screaming. I opened my door to yell at my mom for trying to cook something and burning it, but instead of my moms voice I heard my dad yelling at me to get out of the house.

“BELLA GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! PLEASE, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! GET OUT OF HERE BELLS!”

I started to run down the stairs, but when I made it to the last step flames flared out all around me. I was trapped and froze at the sight before me. The flames licked at the wall and ceiling. Bight orange and yellow flames were raging like a monster, eating away at everything it touched. The whole living room was engulfed in flames, I couldn’t see anything, the smoke was too thick. I didn’t know what to do, I yelled for my dad, but got no answer at all this time. Panic overtook me and I turned around and ran back up the stairs and into my room. I threw my blanket by the door to cover up the bottom crack hoping in vain that it would keep out the smoke long enough for me to maybe jump out the window.

I had forgotten how high up my room was from the ground though. Throwing open my second story window brought the knowledge back to me. I screamed for help but no one was around. I could hear the sirens of the fire trucks in the distance and was praying that they could get to me faster then those flames.

I kept looking down out my window wondering if I could make the jump and live. The thing was that, if the flames came into my room I was going to jump no matter what, I would rather die that way then to burned alive. All these thoughts were coming at me and I didn’t know what to do. It seemed like hours had passed when the fire trucks finally pulled in. I yelled for help out the window again and again but they couldn’t hear me because of the sirens.

The smoke was coming in the room and filling it up faster then I thought possible but I kept trying to yell, causing me gasp for air and all I could do was flail my arms out my window hoping they would see me. The last thing I saw was the flames licking at my door, reaching for me.


Blackness over took me and I collapsed to the floor of my room in a heap.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Breathe, don’t die on me, come on breathe…”

I was woken up by the voice of an angel…my angel. I peered up into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

“It’s going to be okay,…breathe.” He had placed a face mask on me and I breathed in a deep breath full of oxygen.

He placed my hand on it and told me to hold it there.

“I’m going to get you out of here.” He scooped me up in his strong arms and carried me out of my room.

He walked me down that stairs that had, earlier, been consumed in flames but were now clear and continued out the front door. I was barely aware of all the commotion around me. I was numb, in a total daze, staring at this god that was carrying me away from the fiery hell I had just been in. He was my angel, my savior, and I just wanted to know his name.

He carried me over to the squad and placed me on a gurney, talking to the EMT for a minute then went to walk away. I had to stop him though, I had to at least know his name.

“Please…stop,” I mouthed no sound came out but I caught a hold of his fireman coat.

Turning around he looked down at me and I tried to ask him what I wanted to know again, my throat was burning but I had to try.

“Please…what is your name?” my voice came to me in a whisper but he smiled and answered my question.

“My name is Edward, what is yours?” He took a bottle of water from the EMT and handed it to me. I took a drink.

“I’m Isabella, but my friends call me Bella.” As soon as I got my name out Jake was rushing over to me.

I looked over at him for the slightest second and back, but Edward was walking away. I wanted to thank him but my voice wasn’t strong enough. I looked up at Jake and he had tears running down his cheeks.

“Oh, Bella, I thought I had lost you forever.”

His words brought me back to my senses a little. MY MOM AND DAD? Where were they?

“Jake, my mom and dad were in the house. Where are they?” I asked.

He just stared at me like he was the one in shock and had just been through what I had. I yelled at him, trying to get his attention and it worked. He darted off towards the house and was gone for awhile. Long enough for them to have me in the ambulance and ready to go, but I had refused to leave until I found out about my mom and dad. I wasn’t hurt that bad so they complied with my wishes.

When Jake came back, he climbed into the ambulance with me with a sad drawn face. My heart dropped into my stomach.

I started shaking my head at Jake not wanting to hear what he was about to say.

“Bells, your mom is gone, they couldn’t revive her. They are bringing your dad out now, he’s not conscious but he’s breathing lightly. They don’t think he’s going to make it though.”

I just stared at him. I didn’t want to comprehend what he was saying. Mom….my mom was gone.

That’s when I heard the most painful gruesome scream I had ever heard in my life. The thing I didn’t realize was that the scream was coming from me. I couldn’t stop the screaming though, it hurt so much. The pain in my chest was too much for me to take in silence. I grabbed at the tubes they had in my nose and got up off the cot in a matter of seconds, so fast that Jake couldn’t even catch me, I darted over to the other ambulance and to my dad.

Fighting off the paramedics and the firemen, I hugged my dads barely there body to myself. Screaming for him to wake up.

“DAD I NEED YOU WAKE UP…PLEASE DADDY! OPEN YOUR EYES DADDY, PLEASE…PLEASE!”

Jakes arms wrapped around me trying to force me back, but I fought against him, pushing him away from me. Picking me up he tried to take me back to the ambulance, but I beat him against his chest but he wouldn’t let me go, he just held on tighter. That’s when I saw my mom’s body on another stretcher being carried out of the house.

I knew in that moment what Jake had told me was true, it wasn’t a horrible dream, I hadn’t fallen asleep on my bed working on my paper, no this shit was for real. I looked over and saw the eyes of my angel, the one that had saved me, and I collapsed against Jake.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Waking up, looking around, realizing I was in a hospital room confirmed that it all was real, that it all had happened. My mom was dead and my dad was right there on death’s door step, knocking on the door.

The empty room was a real life metaphor for how I felt; I was empty and alone. Slow tears seeped out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I cried them into my pillow trying my hardest to make them soft but they wouldn’t ease up, and soon they became loud guttural sobs. They were wracking through my chest and making my whole body hurt.

A pair of strong arms engulfed me and all at once the head of Jakes body took over me. I turned around and cried into him, clutching his shirt like he was a life raft and I was in a shark infested ocean.

I couldn’t let go of him, and I didn’t want too. I think he could sense that too, because he never tried to pull away, he just held me tighter. Thinking of arms around me made me think of other arms around me, my moms, dads, my angels…

“Edward,” I whispered in between sobs.

“What?” Jake asked looking down at my face.

“Jake I want to see him again, to thank him.”

“See who Bells?” he asked.

“Edward. The fireman who saved me. He said his name was Edward.”

“Cullen?”

I thought about that name and the way Jake said it and it brought back a memory of his arms catching me before. That was Edward that helped me when I bumped into him and almost fell. But he didn’t even look at me then. I should have recognized those eyes.

“Yeah, Jake, I need to see Edward again. Could you, I mean would you help me? I want to thank him. Please Jake.” I tried to even beg him in hopes that he would agree and help me.

All he did was give me this look like he would rather die then talk to Edward. I didn’t understand the problem between the two of them, but I wasn’t going to let that hinder me from telling Edward thanks.

Jake didn’t say anything to me after I asked him to ask Edward to come see me. We just sat there for awhile in silence, then my doctor came in and told me that I would be going home tomorrow.

Home, yeah I didn’t have a home anymore. The Doc proceeded to tell me that I had second degree burns on my arms and legs and how I needed to take care of them. I just nodded barely listening to anything he said. I was thinking about Edward and his arms wrapped around me.

Jake telling me he would come pick me up in the morning drew me out of my thoughts, I hugged him and told him that would be great and thanks, then he left me to be alone again.

No one had told me anything about my dad, so I hit the button for the nurse. She came in right away and was really nice to me.

“Hi Isabella, my name is Kiara what can I help you with?”

“Hello Kiara, you can call me Bella, but I was wondering, if it was possible, well, I’d really like to see my dad.”

She smiled at me and walked out of the room not saying another word to me. She was only gone for a second or two, coming back with a wheelchair. She helped me with all the stupid tubes that were attached to me and helped me get out of the bed and into the chair.

“Okay Bella, let’s get you down to your dads room, shall we?” I smiled the first smile I had smiled since the day of the fire and she wheeled me down to my dads room.

It wasn’t too far away from me actually. A couple doors down, but the sight of him laying there helpless crushed down on me the instant the wheels of the chair crossed over the door opening.

I asked her to let me have some time with him and she told me she would be back in about a half an hour, if I needed her sooner just to hit the nurse call button. I nodded and she left, shutting the door behind her.

“Daddy, oh dad please,” I moaned out grabbing his hand for dear life.

He was the strongest man I knew. He was the chief of police and in my eyes he was always bigger then life to me. He was a hero to so many including me. To see him in a bed, unconscious, barely breathing was hard to comprehend.

I have no clue how long I sat there in total quiet but the silence was broken by a man clearing his throat. I looked up to see a Doctor standing at the foot of my dad’s bed.

“You must be Isabella?” I just nodded my head. “I’m doctor Cullen, I’m your dad’s doctor. I was actually coming to see you later this afternoon but since you’re here now I guess I can go ahead and talk to you.”

“About what Dr. Cullen?” I asked. I was a little freaked out, what if he told me that my dad wasn’t going to make it? I wasn’t sure I could handle that right now. I started to gasp for air, it felt like I couldn’t breath.

The next thing I knew I was back in my room lying in my bed waking up again and I was all alone.

That night I was plagued with the worst dreams I had ever had, screaming out for my mom and dad but they never answered and I was all alone in the house, but this time strong arms didn’t save me, this time I was burned alive.

The doctor ended up giving me something to knock me out and put my body at ease. I didn’t end up getting to go home the next day, I had to stay for another night after everything that had happened.

The day I did get to go home Jake came to pick me up and take me to his house to stay for a while until I figured out what to do. Jake and I had several heated discussions on the subject of Edward when I was staying with him and I knew that I had to find somewhere else to stay while my dad was still in the hospital. I wouldn’t go back to school until he got out.

About a week had passed since I got out of the hospital, I had been going back to see my dad everyday and stayed there most of the day. I parked my car, getting out and headed straight for my dad’s room. Kiara was at the nurses desk and we said our normal ‘hellos’ and I went into my dad’s room.

Not long after I had pulled the chair over to my dad’s bed, a doctor walked into the room. It wasn’t Doctor Cullen though, and what he had to tell me shocked me to no end.

My dad never wanted to be hooked up to machines if something happened to him, I never knew it, but he had signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) paper for work. How could he not want to live if he could? I didn’t understand it at all.

This doctor proceeded to tell me that it was my choice what to decide if I kept him hooked up or if I unplugged my own dad. I told him I would have to think about it. I was in a daze again barely able to think. I knew I wasn’t going to stay in the hospital today looking at my dad knowing what I knew I had to decide.

Getting out of the chair, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill over, I walked out of the room and to the elevators, pushing the button and waiting. The tears were so close to spilling over that I was dying waiting there for the elevator. I begged for it to hurry up and when it finally got there and opened its doors I dashed inside and hit the button to close the door.

I rode the elevator down to the main floor and walked out to the main lobby. As I tried to walk out the front door I looked up I saw him, my angel, and everything hit me. My tears flooded my eyes and ran down my cheeks. The look on his face was full of concern, but looking into those green eyes I could only say two words…’thank you’ and then I collapsed into his arms once more.

Posted in: Chasing Fire