Chapter 6 ~ After Effects Of Losing Him Again
The next morning I woke up alone. I felt the lose of Jacob again, but it wasn’t as bad as before. I guess it was because I had gotten my answers. I knew Jacob loved me and he knew I loved him. It was still going to take a while to get over him leaving again, but I knew I was going to have some help. I looked around for a minute and Seth had left me a note next to the bed.
Nessie,
If you wake up and I’m gone. I’m sorry. I had to go out on patrol this morning. You know, crazy Alpha of the Pack stuff. I’ll be back as soon as I can I promise sweetheart! I know you’ll need me when you do wake up so hopefully I’m there. Maybe, when we get back we can go for a ride in your car! I’ll be there soon.
With my love,
Seth
Wow, he has beautiful handwriting . That got me thinking, could I really fall for him? Could I love someone else? I didn’t know, but I did know if he was willing to help me get better and would be here as a friend at least, I would try.
I needed a good friend right now. I still was felling the lose of Jacob to much to think about it too long. I grabbed the necklace and the ring. I put the ring on the chain and decided to wear it like that.
I thought I could at least still have him close to my heart. Before I put it on though I opened it and looked at the picture, for a minute. It was a happier time for me. I wish I really could be happy again, like Jake wants me to be. So I decided to at least try. He asked me to do that much. Just be happy! I didn’t know if that meant with Seth, but we would have to see, I guess. I ended up falling back to sleep, when I woke back up Seth was back watching me. I looked up at him and he smiled.
“Nessie, I know you’ll always love him. I wouldn’t take that from you. Don’t be scared to fall in love again Ness. You’ll never forget him, because I would never forget him. Just let me take care of you. If you don’t end up feeling the same way about me, then I won’t force you into anything. Let’s just take it slow. I’ll help you through what your going through and then we can talk about the other stuff. Okay?”
“Okay. Will you do me a favor?” I asked
“Yeah, anything for you”
“Will you go for a walk down the beach with me? Then I need to go home and get something’s. Then maybe I’ll let you drive my car!”
“Are you serious, you’ll let me dive your car?” He said with the most excited face I have ever seen. He grabbed my hand and got serious again “Of course. I’ll go for a walk with you and I’ll go to your house with you. I’ll do anything you want to do! Even if you won’t let me drive your car.” I started giggling at that. He just smiled at me.
“I really love your laugh.” He paused to look at me “Nessie are you ok?” He asked because I had started crying again.
“Yeah, I’m Okay, it’s just….Nothing.”
“Nessie you can tell me, you won’t hurt my feeling’s I promise whatever it is. It has to do with Jake right. I forgot he used to tell you that all the time didn’t he Ness. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay it‘s not your fault, trust me. You sure you want to be around me? I’m going to be like this for a while. You don’t have to sit around and watch. Little things like that are going to make me sad.”
“Nessie, I’m exactly were I want to be. If you need to talk about him or go see his grave or anything else just do it. I’ll be right by your side. I promise! I miss him too, honey bear. You take as long as you need and I‘ll be by your side the whole time. Honey bear, I‘m here for you, no matter what it takes, I will help you be happy again. I promise you that.”
“What did you call me?” I asked him
“Oh, is that okay? I came up with a nickname for you. Your just so cute like a honey bear.” He said, I had to smile at him.
“Yeah it’s okay. It’s different from any other nick names I have, so it’s all yours to use.” I told him!
I got up and got dressed and we both headed down to the beach hand and hand. We found a beached tree and sat on it for a while. We sat in silence just looking out at ocean. Then I jumped up and headed towards my house. He jumped up and in three of his long strides he was by my side, he grabbed my hand and gave it a genteel squeeze. It felt nice, his hand was the same size and temperature as Jakes. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. He lifted our intertwined hands up to his face and kissed my hand. I smiled up at him.
In so many ways he reminded me of Jacob. Like his hands, his height, his body temperature, his scent, but in other ways he was better. We made it to my house, my mom and dad were in my living room. My mom was sitting in her favorite chair reading Withering Heights again for the millionth time. She should know it by heart by now, I know I did. Dad, was looking at a medical book. When we walked in they both looked up. I smiled at my moms facial expression when she looked up and saw our hands. I guess Jacob didn’t tell her about that part. Or dad, because the look he was giving Seth kind of scared me at first, the he said something totally unexpected.
“You better take care of her, or I’ll come after you and hunt you down like the dog you are.” Then he smiled and said “But, I didn’t really have to say that did I. I can see in your thoughts, Seth, I know you will do exactly that.” Then he looked at me. “Honey your momma and I are leaving right now to go pack up the stuff in the New Hampshire house even though we are leaving most of the stuff there. Is there anything in particular you want?”
“ Were moving back, seriously, that’s awesome. Yeah, my bed and everything else in my room.”
“ Okay, so all of Nessie’s room gets packed. You stay here and hang out with Seth. Unless he needs to be some where else.”
“Nowhere else matters right now, I’ll stay with her.” Seth said smiling at me.
I looked up at Seth and just smiled really big at him, he smiled right back at me. My mom smiled at me and kissed me.
“ See you later sweetheart” then she looked at Seth and whispered in my ear. “See I told you, you’d find happiness again.”
“Thanks momma! Love you” then I looked at my dad “Love you too daddy!”
After they left I told Seth I’d be right back. I walked into my room and sat down on the bed. I thought about how much I still loved Jacob and how much that love had cost me in the past couple of years. I thought about the feelings I was starting to have for Seth. I knew in my heart there would always be a huge place in my heart for Jacob. I would always love him. I also knew I had to move on with my life. So I promised myself that starting today I was going to do just that.
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