Chasing Fire Chapter 7 - Little Helpless Lamb

Chapter 7 ~ Little Helpless Lamb

(This chapter doesn’t have a quote but a song quote instead…hope you all don’t mind. I thought it fit more…The song for this chapter is Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne)

"Keep Holding On"

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Firefighter down, Firefighter down…

Those words were the worst things to hear for a fellow firefighter. To hear that one of your brothers was down was beyond what your brain could actually comprehend. As those words rang out over all the pagers, it was like all else ceased to exist, everything stood still. All we could think of was who was it? How bad were they hurt? In my own head all those questions ringing out in everyone else’s head were coupled with Is it my mom, my brother, Jasper…

Your brain could torment you, could bring up all the different visions of the what ifs. What if it was Esme what would I do with out my mom? What if it was Emmett, how would I cope with losing a brother? When I had already lost so much in my life, how could I handle losing them too.

I ran into the building with the search party looking for my fellow firefighter. We found him pretty close and once I realized it wasn’t Esme, Emmett or Jazz I was okay, but it was still family.

Taking him out on the building and getting him on to the stretcher, they rushed our brother to the hospital with us standing there staring at the squad as it rushed down the road. We didn’t know if Kevin was going to be okay or not, but we still had work to do. We all rushed and finished putting out the fire and getting all the gear back onto the trucks and back to the firehouse. We rushed ourselves to get to the hospital to see how he was doing. I flew down the highway in my Volvo.

Once there, I drove my car into the first parking spot I could find and threw the gear shift into park and jumped out of my car. Walking as fast as I could to get into the doors, I crossed the huge parking lot in seconds, well it at least seemed like it that is. I entered through the sliding doors of the hospital, not sure where to really go even thought Carlisle worked here. I was going to head towards the front desk but as I stepped through the doors there she was. Isabella tripped her way out of the elevator doors and wasn’t really paying attention to what she was doing, she was in a daze. She looked so lost and helpless. I tried to smile at her but as she made her way closer to me, I could really tell something was wrong.

Tears flooded her eyes as she finally saw me, I was so worried about her. I hoped her father hadn’t passed away too. I watched as she got a little closer and mouthed the words “thank you” then she just collapsed into my arms. Out cold…


“Bella…” I said really loudly. I caught her before she could hit the floor. Her face was blank but her mouth was moving. I made sure she was breathing and picked her up cradling her in my arms. Looking down into that face of hers I realized that every time I was close to her she ended up in my arms. She felt so light and little like a helpless little lamb that needed protection and love. That was exactly what I wanted to give her too. Looking away from her I saw a nurse coming my way, a nurse I knew worked with my father. That’s when Bella’s voice came to me.

“I just can’t do that. I can’t unplug him…” I had no idea what she was talking about.

By the time I looked up, Kiara, the nurse and my father, who looked like he had just gotten out of surgery, were rushing toward us. Kiara tired to take Bella out of my arms, but I held her tightly to myself.

“I can’t do it…he’s my father. I wont kill him,” Bella mumbled again.

As those words slipped through her lips my father was right there and heard every word she had said, the look on his face told me that he knew exactly what was going on.

“What happened Edward?” he asked through his teeth.

“I have no idea. I walked through the doors as she was coming out of the elevator crying and in a daze. When she got to me she just collapsed into my arms.”

“Okay, um, Edward you need to let us get her on the cot,” he said placing his hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t realized I was still holding onto her so tightly.

I gently placed her on the cot and seeing her frail body lying there nearly broke my heart. I watched as Kiara pushed her down the hall further and further away from me as my father mumbled about that idiot told her and I told him not to say a word to her. Of course that caught my attention and I wanted to know what was going on.

I knew better then ask him that though, you know patient confidentiality and all. As I watched over my fathers shoulder as Bella was wheeled away I was in a battle with myself. I wanted so much to follow and make sure she was okay, but I knew I needed to go check on Kevin. So I turned away from the scene before me and looked back at my dad.

“Hey Dad, there was a firefighter from our firehouse just brought in. Do you know where he is or how he is?”

“Yeah I do Edward. He’s doing good. Esme and all the others are with him. He’s in room 2103.”

“Thanks,” I told him and walked towards the elevators with my dad still standing there mumbling to himself.

I made it to Kevin’s room and everyone was there around his bed cutting up and laughing with him. I’m not going to lie, he looked terrible but he was alive and that’s all that mattered. His face was all burned up and bandaged.

I hated seeing a fellow firefighter and friend like this. But he was laughing and talking to everyone of us, like nothing happened. After goofing off in Kevin’s room for a bit with everyone, my thoughts constantly on Isabella, I couldn’t help but tell everyone bye and tell Kevin I would come back to see him in a bit.

As I was leaving Kevin’s room and heading to the elevator to find out where she was, I ran into my dad.

“Hey Edward, before you ask,” He said smiling. “She is in room 2130. She asked about you. But she has a guest in there with her right now. I don’t think you should interrupt them.”

I had a good idea who it was…Jacob Black. I nodded to my dad and headed into the elevator and up to the third floor where her room was located.

As I walked down the hall, hearing that laugh of his confirmed that I was correct. It was Jacob Black in there with her. She wasn’t laughing though, she was trying to explain something but he wasn’t listening. And that was pissing me off to no end, but who was I to do anything about it. I couldn’t tell him to leave her alone, she obliviously wanted him there. So I sat out in the hall and waited my turn to see her.

I overheard bits and pieces of their conversation. Most of it was about how she wasn’t going back to school now, which I didn’t really understand…she should continue her schooling if it was something she really wanted, but it was her decision.

Black was pissed off about it and tried his best to get her to say she was going to go back but she was stubborn I could tell that by the way she told him to fuck off several times and that it was her decision and that what she wanted to do and planed on doing was to stay here in Forks. Her only problem she had was she had no place to live.

That’s when a light bulb flickered in my brain. I could help her with a place to live…I still had my house for rent. I could make it where she got it and I could keep her close to me. I smiled to myself as these thoughts filtrated my brain and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to head in that room and tell her that she didn’t have to worry about a place to live. I had her covered there she could stay at my house. It wasn’t any use to me anymore, maybe she could find some happiness in it.

Instead of storming the room, I kept my cool and waited my turn to talk to her. Waited there like a gentlemen, waited for the dog to leave. It took a while for him to come out of her room and as soon as he saw me he acted like he was going to head back in there, but instead he just kept walking without another word. Although he didn’t mutter another word, but the look on his face said it all.

That look told me that he would kill me if I messed with her. I really didn’t plan on messing with her, so to speak. But I did have this need to get to know her for some reason.

I stood there for several minutes just staring after Black, then I heard her voice come to me through the door.

“I want to go see my father please…” she said. I thought she was talking to me, but she must have hit the call button because a nurses voice came next.

“Yes, Ma’am as long as your doctor says it’s okay we can take you to see him. But we have to wait for the okay first.”

The next thing I heard was her defeated voice.

“Okay,”

As I heard that voice, my feet moved on their own, walking into her room and standing there looking at her. I didn’t really know what to say to her. So I just said what came natural to me.

“Hey, I see you’re feeling a little better, at least you’re awake”

She smiled and looked up at me through her lashes and nodded her head. She looked so frail and weak. I hated seeing her like this and I didn’t even know her. I wanted her to be strong and happy. So I just came out and said what I needed to before I burst.

“Um, I couldn’t help but overhear that you are looking for a place to stay…live. I have a place up for rent right now if you would want to take a look at it.”

I watched as her face lit up before me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“That sounds great, I’d love to take a look.” I watched as her face fell a bit and she looked up at me and told me what she was thinking in the smallest voice I’ve ever heard. “But I don’t even have a way to pay the rent yet. I don’t have a job or anything, I was in school and home on break…well, and you know the rest. I um…”

“Hmm, we can just see if you like it when you get out of here, then we can go from there. Deal?” I was dying for her to say yes. I was saying it over and over in my head…Please say yes please say yes.

To my surprise she just nodded and smiled at me, making my heart leap into my throat. I didn’t understand my reaction to this woman at all. I love Lindz. What is the matter with me.

“Edward…that is your name right?”

“Yeah, I’m Edward and you’re Isabella.”

“Call me Bella, please. So what does your place look like and why don’t you live there or do you?”

“No I don’t live there anymore. The place was just to big for me and held way too many memories. I’m not home that much with being a firefighter so I thought just a small apartment would be better for me. It’s a beautiful two story house, three bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms. Its actually two streets away from your old place.”

I watched as her face fell again and I couldn’t help it this time, I went closer to her and sat down next to her and took her hand.

“What is it Bella? You look like you just need to talk. I can tell you I do know what your going through, I know people always say that but really they have no clue. I seriously do, I lost both my parents and little sister in a fire when I was very young.”

The look on her face when I told he that part of my story just about crushed me, making my heart go into my throat yet again. Tears started to fall down her porcelain cheeks. I wish I could take all the pain away for her. Just make it all go away and it killed me that I couldn’t.

“They…want me to…pull…the…plug,” she whimpered out. I was shocked at that, it must be what my father hadn’t wanted her to find out and why she looked so dazed out when she fell into my arms.

“Oh Bella, I’m so sorry. I don’t think you were meant to know about it though, I don’t think you should have found out the way you did. What was said to you?” I asked and gently squeezed her soft hand. I really wanted to get up in the bed with her and just hold her to me.

I felt her squeeze my hand and she went on to tell me that the doctor came in and told her that she needed to chose to do what her father had wanted. He never wanted to be plugged up to machines and had signed a DNR which honestly didn’t surprise me much. It’s not something that all of us in this type of field does, but it’s something most of us think of.

I was pissed off that the doctor told her the way he did. I wanted to fuck him up for it. She didn’t deserve to be told that way. She wasn’t healthy enough to be told the way he did. I hoped my father rips him a new one.

“Bella, you know you have the final say on this. And you really don’t have to think of it right now. I think you should just relax and let my father see what he can do about your father. Maybe you should talk to him first before you worry yourself even more sick then you already are.”

I looked into her eyes as I said every word. I wanted her to just get better and not worry about the rest. She would have a place to stay if she wanted to stay here in Forks, I could get her a job at the firehouse and she would have money. I would give her the world if I could and I barely knew her, but I wanted to give it all to her.

Just as I was saying this my father knocked on her door peeking his head in. I smiled over at her and squeezed her hand once more.

“Remember what I said, okay? I’ll let my father talk to you and I’ll come back in a bit, okay?”

She smiled at me once more wiping the tears away from her eyes and nodded.

I left the room looking back at her before I slipped through the door. She looked like the world was just lifted off her shoulders…little did I know what the future was about to put back on those tiny shoulders of hers.

****

The next couple of days went by pretty fast. She actually took me up on letting her move into my place and we got her all moved and settled in. She even let me help her get a job at the firehouse. She was now our new secretary and my mom loved the help.

Everything was going great actually, I had gotten to know more about her and spent a lot of time with her. She was great, just like I knew she would be.

Unfortunately she was still bogged down with worry about her father, who was still in the hospital with no change at all. He was still in coma and not breathing on his own. She was still worried about what that one doctor said and it still pissed me off to no end. She didn’t deserve to have this put on her. She deserved a happy, worry free life. But life wasn’t like that was it? Life’s a bitch and it was always there to bite you, and bite her it did, over and over again.

***

Standing in my old living room that was now Bella’s living room, was a little weird, but I was getting used to it. She had made herself home and I loved what she had done to the place already. She had been living in the house for about three months now and I spent a lot of my free time with her here. I loved it, she never asked me about Lindz and why I really wanted to move away from here and I never asked her anything that would make her uncomfortable. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to know these things though. I ached to know what she was going to do about her father and I ached to know if she was going to stay here or move back to school. I was getting attached to her and was so afraid that she was going to leave.

I had walked into the kitchen to get me a drink like I had done a million times since she moved in when I heard her phone ring, her loud sob, then the crash. Running back into the living room forgetting my drink, she came into my sight. She was crumbled on the floor crying. The phone laying beside her. I ran to her trying to pick her up but she fought me. I stopped trying and stayed down by her and slowly stroked the hair out of her face.

“Bella…what happened?” I asked in a soothing voice. I was so worried that the weight of everything had finally hit her and she couldn’t take it anymore and was breaking down. But I was so wrong.

“He’s…he’s…gone,” she breathed out.

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