Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 6 - After Effects Of Losing Him Again

Chapter 6 ~  After Effects Of Losing Him Again

The next morning I woke up alone.  I felt the lose of Jacob again, but it wasn’t as bad as before.  I guess it was because I had gotten my answers. I knew Jacob loved me and he knew I loved him.  It was still going to take a while to get over him leaving again, but I knew I was going to have some help.  I looked around for a minute and Seth had left me a note next to the bed. 

    Nessie,

    If you wake up and I’m gone.  I’m sorry.  I had to go out on patrol this morning.  You know, crazy Alpha of the Pack stuff.  I’ll be back as soon as I can I promise sweetheart!  I know you’ll need me when you do wake up so hopefully I’m there.  Maybe, when we get back we can go for a ride in your car!  I’ll be there soon.

With my love,
Seth

Wow, he has beautiful handwriting .  That got me thinking, could I really fall for him?  Could I love someone else?  I didn’t know, but I did know if he was willing to help me get better and would be here as a friend at least, I would try.

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Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 5 - Finding Out Who Else Was Meant For Me

Chapter 5 ~ Finding Out Who Else Was Meant For Me

I waited till they were all gone.  When Seth passed me he gave me a small smile and I saw tears in his eyes.  They all hoped I was getting better.  I sat there for a moment longer and all of the sudden it all came out. 

I told Jake about the car, the cliff jump, the nightmares, not talking, everything I could think to tell him I did.  I told him I got the box of letter’s and things he had collected.  I told him they helped me sometimes but not enough.

I told him I never thought I would get over the pain. When I said this I hung my face in my hands crying.   When I said this all of the sudden I could feel a warm breeze go by my face.  It felt like a hand creasing my face.  It was him. 

So I kept telling him about not hunting in two years and the burn that was so constant from not going.  I told him about my dream tonight.  And again I started crying and hung my head in my hands this time I felt his hand under my chin lifting it up.  When I looked up I saw him.  He smiled at me and all I could do was stare at first.


    “Jakey? Is that you?”  I whispered

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Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 4 - Coming Back Home…Numb

Chapter 4 ~ Coming Back Home…Numb 

It has been almost two years to the day that Jacob died and my life flipped upside down.  If you could see me now you would think I was great.  That my life was perfect!  I knew better. I was a good actress, I had to be.  

My life was still a wreck.  Just like my car had been.  Mangled beyond recognition.  I hadn’t been back to La Push since Billy gave me the photo’s.   I didn’t know what to say to him anymore.  I really didn’t talk much anymore, anyways.

I had went back to just using my power and writing notes, after my accident.  I didn’t hear Jakes voice after that again either.  I still felt hollow and numb.  I starting going to school,  it was the only place I would talk,  but only when I was talked to.  I still felt like a big piece of me was missing and it was it was in La Push! 

One day we got a letter from La Push.  My mom grabbed it before I could get to it.  She opened it up and read it out loud.  It was a wedding invitation.  Embry and Casey were getting married. Then my mom told me the date.  It was the same date that Jacob had died.  

I didn’t know what to say.  I just turned around and walked up to my room.  It wasn’t fair.  I wanted so much to marry Jacob.  Why would they have a wedding on the blackest day of my life.  I didn’t understand what they were thinking.  Right then my dad walked in.

    “Maybe, their trying to take a terrible day and make a little bit happier.” he told me. I just looked at him and thought Are we going?

    “Do you want to go?  That’s what I came up here to ask you.  It’s up to you.” He asked me. I told him I don’t know daddy, let me think about it.

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Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 3 - Moving Dead

Chapter 3 ~ Moving Dead

I got to the new house before anyone. We moved to New Hampshire. I just walked up to it, starring at it. It was a three story white house. It actually looked exactly like the one in Forks.

I got up to the porch and sat on the steps. I looked around and seen the woods to the left. So I got up and went for a walk. I found this tree and jumped up into it and sat down on the branch. I just sat there until I heard my mom calling for me.

I didn’t answer of course but I thought I’m coming dad tell her I’m on my way! When I got to the house my mom gave me a worried look. I just shrugged my shoulders at her. I looked at my dad and thought Where’s my room! I want to go to bed. He shook his head at me and lead the way. He took me up three flights of stairs and showed me my room. I walked in and shut the door in his face and locked it.

“ Renesmee Cullen! Open the door now!” He said. I could tell he was trying not to yell, but his temper was flaring. So I just thought What do you want dad? I’m tired from driving so far and I just want to be alone.

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Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 2 - Not Even Living, I Was Just Numb…

Chapter 2 ~ Not Even Living, I Was Just Numb…

 

 

The next day was the day of the funeral.  I felt like a zombie, totally numb, I was there but only in body.  I watched the whole thing.  I couldn’t even cry anymore, I just stood there swaying a little. 

He was being buried in the woods next to our special spot.  A place we used to go together to talk.  The very spot that I had almost told him many times that I loved him.  It was his favorite spot to go in the woods. 

Everyone just kept glancing at me.  Billy came over to me and asked if I wanted to say anything.  I just looked at him with this blank look on my face.  He walked away with a tears in his eyes.  I looked down and I didn’t even know what I was wearing.   Who had dressed me?  I was wearing a little black strapless sundress.  With black sandals. My thoughts were so chaotic. 

I so wanted to jump in that hole with him and let them cover me up too.  As soon as I thought that my dad ran to my side.  I actually had taken a step in that direction. 

He grabbed my shoulders and I started crying again.  I screamed a wordless screams, it was the loudest scream I had ever heard hurting my ears and  I fell to the ground.  My mom ran over and held me while I sat there crying and rocking back and forth again.  I shoved her arms off of me and got up off the ground. I took a look at everyone around me and I took off, because the only arms I wanted was Jakes and I would never feel them around me again. 

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Love Was Lost Forever Chapter 1 - Life leads to unexpected tragedies.

What would happen to an Imprint if the other one died. What would it do to them? Could they survive the pain? What if that imprint was Nessy and Jake died. That's where im going to take this story from the questions to Nessie's reality.

Chapter one ~ Life leads to unexpected tragedies.

My life has been great since that day out in the baseball clearing, the day the Volturi came to kill me.  They thought I would cause the vampire world problems, because I was a child vampire and they thought I would be uncontrollable.  They had no idea I had more control of myself then they did.  

After that night, we stayed in Forks, which wasn’t what my aunt Rose wanted.  She wanted to leave right away, but I cried and cried about leaving Jake.  I wouldn’t do it.  I can remember thinking I would die without my Jake. 

After they left everything has been wonderful, peaceful even.  I had a great loving family and great friends.  One of which being my best friend, my Jake. 

Jake and I have been best friends for a while now. He is so sweet and protective of me, I really don’t get it.    How can someone that looked like he did, want to spend so much time with me. 

My sixtieth birthday is in a week and that’s when my immortality will start. I will totally stop changing.  No more growing at all.  I told Jake I was a little scared for it to happen.  I wanted to keep changing, I wanted to live a normal happy life, but who was I kidding I was half vampire half human. What‘s normal about that?   I didn’t want to die and leave everyone I loved behind either.  Jake and I were most of the time inseparable.  He’s my best friend, a friend that  I could tell anything to?   

I know we are just friends, but I want to be more.  In all reality I truly love him, I’ve just never told him.  I’m a little scared to tell him how I really feel, how I want to wrap my arms around his amazing copper body and tell him how I can’t live without him.  To tell him how much I need him. I wanted to tell him I never wanted him to leave me and that I never wanted to let him go. 

What if he looked at me like I was crazy and told me we could never be more than just friends?  What if after I told him all that, I lost him as my friend?  I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I always racked my brain with these questions, when I thought about telling him how I feel.  

I wish he was right here so I could tell him how much I wanted to be with him.  Forever!  But, would end up chickening out just like every other time I had tried.  I ended up just standing there, not looking at him, trying to get up enough courage to tell him. 


    “Jake can I talk to you?” I asked him as I came down the stairs from my room at my grandma’s house.  He was sitting on the couch with my uncle Emmett playing video games with him, laughing and cutting up. 

As soon as he heard my question he smiled at me putting the game controller down and walking towards me.  He stopped right in front of me with that smile on his face, the one that took my breath away each time. 

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