Chasing Fire Chapter 3 - How Do You Tell Someone That You Love Them? (Jakes POV)

Chapter 3~ How Do You Tell Someone That You Love Them? (Jakes POV)

Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly.
- Louis Ginsberg

As I pulled my car up in front of my dad’s house, I looked over at the front windows, something felt off. All the lights were off and it looked like no one was home, but that couldn’t be, I was supposed to be here at seven to have dinner with my dad. I am only five minutes early, where could he be?

I got out of my old Rabbit and pushed the door closed, actually I had to slam it to get it to close all the way. I had built this car myself and it still needed some work done to it.

I walked up the little path towards my dad’s house, noticing that it was completely silent all around me, it was a little eerie. I put my key in the door handle and quietly unlocked the door, opening it slowly to the dark and what I thought to be an empty house. I was clueless to what actually lay inside the house.

“SURPRISE!” they yelled.

I was shocked to see the all people that were standing in my living room staring at me with huge smiles on their faces. I was just staring at them until she caught my eyes and I had to smile.



She was my best friend since we were kids and we had been through a lot together. She was there for me when I lost my mom and I was there for her when her mom got cancer and was in the hospital. She took care of her dad like a champ and took care of the house at the age of nine. She’s the strongest person I knew and I’ve had feelings for her for longer then I can remember. I just didn’t know how to tell her, I didn’t want to ruin every thing between us.

As I smiled back at Bella, she came towards me, hugging me when she reached my side. I loved having her in my arms. She was so small and I always felt like I was protecting her when she was at my side.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered in my ear, hugging me tighter. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head then looked around seeing who else was in my house for me.

It looked like everyone from the rez including Bella’s family, Charlie and Renee, plus my sisters were both here. Sam and Emily, all the firemen from the rez, Quil and Embry were standing there with me too. This party wasn’t just for me, it was for those two, too. Embry didn’t really have a family, we were his family. His mom was a bitch who doesn’t give a shit about her son, all she cared about was who was going to be in her bed at night. He didn’t know his dad and that killed him. My dad and Quil’s grandpa always filled that spot in Embry’s life though.

On the rez we all were a tight knit family of sorts, we all looked out for each other. It was nice to know that you would always have someone around.

I stood there with Bells still by my side, while everyone congratulated me over and over about my choice of going to the fire academy and getting accepted. It was all Bella’s idea though, she had talked me into going. I couldn’t make up my mind about what I wanted to do and she helped me, like always, she was the voice of reason in my life. She always called me her sun, but she was my rainbow after the rain. She was always there to help me pick up the pieces after I screwed up, she always made way to happier days. Bells, a nickname I had called her since we were kids, she was my world and I was always lost when she wasn’t around.

I had to release Bells from my hold though as I walked over to my sisters to hug them both. Rachel and Rebecca hadn’t been home in a really long time, pretty much since our mom died. I don’t blame them for it though, it was really hard on them when mom died. I loved my twin sisters so much, no matter how we treated each other.

Rebecca was married and lived in Hawaii, so she just didn’t have the money to come home that much. Rachel on the other hand could come home whenever she wanted really. She only lived in Seattle, it just hurt her to be here. But I was thankful for them both being here now, for me.

“Good job little brother, mom would have been so proud of you,” Rebecca said.

“She would have Jake. I bet she is smiling down at you right now.” Rachel smiled at me. I nodded my head and hugged them both thanking them for coming and saying that.

After all the congrats and hugs, we ate dinner and devoured the giant cake, then we all went out side to talk, and all of us guys played some football.

Around nine o’clock the party started to die down and the guests started to disappear. The main ones left were Bella and her family, and mine. Bells and I were out back listening to the waves crash up on the beach, when I turned towards her, she was staring at me like she had something to say to me. I knew her looks, this had to be something big and she was scared to say it.

Grabbing her hand, I lifted her out of the chair she was in and asked her to take a walk with me. We headed towards the beach and walked towards our favorite beached tree. I sat down, but she didn’t. She started to pace in front of me, back and forth, wearing a shallow path in the dry sand.

“Bells” I said, but she ignored me like I hadn’t said anything. So I spoke up a little louder. “Bells, hey…just spit it out.” She looked over at me and blurted out everything that was on her mind, but she was talking too fast for me to catch anything, the only thing I caught were the words…Yale, family, friends, Christmas. I took her hand and pulled her to me. I looked her in the eyes and waited a few seconds before I spoke again.

“Bella slow down and tell me everything.” She took a deep breath, then spilled out everything to me again.

“Jake, I applied to Yale today,” she whispered. “I’m so scared, you know this is my dream, to go Yale, get my English and teaching degrees and teach. You know how bad I want that. I’m just scared to get it. I’m scared to leave mom and dad, you, Forks…I just don’t know.”

I kept looking her into her eyes and could see how scared she was. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and held her for a few minutes, whispering to her that she was going to get in and that she was going to be an amazing teacher someday. But in reality I was scared too, I was scared I was going to lose my best friend. The one I loved so much that it hurt sometimes.

I looked out towards the ocean waves and realized everything was changing, just like the ocean; one minute it’s calm and relaxing the next it’s crashing in on the beach with the force to knock down a house.

We stayed there for a little while, until she got cold that is, with her in my arms just looking towards the ocean, not even really talking. We headed back up to my house so she could go home, it was after midnight.

She went straight to her truck and started to get in, but I stopped her.

“Bells,” I paused, waiting for her to look at me. “Thanks for everything. For talking me into this. You’re a great friend and I’m always here for you, I’ll always love you. You know that right?” She just nodded her head and smiled. With a final hug, she got into her truck and pulled away. I stood there watching her leave.

I went into my house and crashed after she left, I had to get up at seven a.m. and head to the academy. I didn’t want to be late and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t tired either, but it was hard to sleep. I knew things would change but I wasn’t sure if I was up for all the change that was coming my way. I knew I had to be though, there was no time for looking back and second guessing what I was about to do. I fell into a restless sleep.

D day had arrived. “D day” is what I had labeled it. The day I would leave my dad’s house and live at the academy for the next eighteen weeks of pure hell. I knew what to expect too. The fire chief on the rez and where I wanted to work so bad, was best friends with my dad and I’ve known him since I was a baby, well, he told me what to look forward too. So I was ready for it, but just like Bells though, I was scared to get there.

I got up and out of bed, got dressed, then headed out to the kitchen to get something to eat real quick. After breakfast, I told my dad ‘bye and that I would call him soon and tell him everything. I hated leaving my dad here all alone, but he told me not to worry about him, it was hard though, with him here in a wheel chair.

My dad was a trooper. He was paralyzed from the waist down when him and my mom were in the car wreck. It killed my mom instantly but my dad made it. He always blamed himself for that wreck, he had fallen asleep at the wheel and they drove off the cliff. They were coming home from visiting friends they had on the Makah reservation and on their way back, my dad fell asleep. It could have happened to anyone, but he didn’t see it like that, and to tell you the truth, I didn’t see it like that for a long time.

I grabbed my stuff and headed out to my rabbit and threw my stuff in, turning around to take a look at my dad in the doorway. Smiling at him, I got into my car and headed towards the academy with a final wave out the window.

Once I pulled up, I saw Quil and Embry waiting for me by Embry’s truck. I smiled at them both as I got out of my car, we had all been friends for longer then I can remember. I was so happy they were doing this too. That’s when I saw someone I really didn’t want to see, but it was inevitable though, we knew it was coming. One of the Cullen’s, the big one, was coming our way with a goofy smile on his face.

“Hey, I’m one of the instructors here at the academy, my name is Emmett,” he told us, still smiling and shaking our hands. “I’ll show you all to you room. Chief Clearwater made it so you all three get to bunk together. Your lucky about that. Most of the time we don’t do that. But anyway…come with me.”

Quil, Embry and I all followed this big ogre looking guy into the academy building, we had never been here so this was all new for us.

The big guy, Emmett, took us to our room, passing more of the Forks fire department hopefuls. There is so much hatred towards other fire departments sometimes and it was no different between our two departments. We couldn’t stand them and they couldn’t stand us. It was like they thought they were so much better then us because they were all paid firemen. I thought it was so stupid.

When we got to our room it was three bunks and three desks, kind of jam packed, but it would be a whole lot better bunking together than with one of us ending up with one of the Forks guys. I would have to thank Harry for that one.

After we got all settled in, one of the fire chiefs, a woman, I’m pretty sure it was Esme Cullen, Chief of Fork department, brought us our books and some papers to look over for the next day. All three of us started looking at everything right away.

After about an hour of studying, I grabbed my cell out of my bag and called my dad and talked to him for a little while, then I called Bells. I just wanted to hear her voice and that’s all I really got, it went straight to voice mail.

‘This is Bella, if you would like to leave me a message go ahead and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can…BEEP.’

“Bells, its me, just wanted to say hi. Trying to study and get ready for tomorrow. You don’t have to call me back if you don’t have time, just wanted to say….hi. Bye, Bells.”

I wanted so desperately to say ’I love you Bells’ but again I chickened out, just like always. I was so afraid she would tell me the same thing she told me when we were younger, “I just want to be friends Jake you know I love you but I’m not in love with you, not like that.” I still remember how my heart crashed to the floor below me when she spoke those words.

After my phone calls were done, we all went down to eat lunch and sat together, Embry even brought his books with him. He was always the perfectionist. I looked over toward the table that two of the guys that I knew were going after the two spots on the Forks department were sitting, but there was also two girls with them. That is awesome, girls in the academy. Quil must have thought the same thing because he was staring at one of them with this dumbfounded look on his face.

I swear I could almost see the drool coming from his mouth that was hanging wide open.

“Dude, pick your mouth up off the table before you flood us out of here,” I said, hitting him on the shoulder. He barely even looked my way, but he finally closed his mouth.

It was good timing too, because as soon as he closed his mouth she looked right at him, smiled and flipped him off. That shit made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my chair.

Quil got so pissed off that we were laughing at him he got up and headed back to our room, with us right behind him still laughing. Once back in our room, I tried to call Bella again, but still no answer.

All three of us decided to go to bed early that night so we would be ready for tomorrow.

The next several weeks were crazy, for some reason or another, we kept getting in confrontations with the Forks guys, it was crazy. It was hard to be in the same room with them sometimes. I tried my hardest to just ignore them all and do what I was there to do, but it was hard.

The tests and physical stuff was hard too, harder then I thought it would be. I was getting good grades though, not the best, those went to Edward Cullen, Jasper Whitlock, and one of the girls, I think her name was Jo. I tried my hardest though, and to me, that was all that mattered.

About four weeks into the program Bells called me and asked if it was okay if she came to see me, and of course, I begged for her to come. She told me she had a huge surprise to tell me, and was so excited. When she finally got there I was outside waiting for her with the largest smile on my face. She ran over to me and jumped in my arms with the most beautiful smile spread across her amazing face.

When I put her down on her feet, she practically screamed her surprise at me, I guess she just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Jake I got in. I got in…me!”

My best friend was so excited about getting into Yale that it made me so happy to see her like this. She got a full scholarship, that way she didn’t have to worry about the money, something she always worried about. She still looked scared though. I could see it in her warm chocolate eyes that she was worried about leaving everyone. I gently took her face in between my hands and looked directly in her stunning eyes and told her it was going to be okay, and that she should go and be happy. She needed to do the things that would make her happy and stop worrying about everyone else.

She always did that, she was a caregiver, she never thought about herself. She just stared at me the entire time I talked, and I told her what she already knew in her heart. After I was done she hugged me tight and I finally led her inside. She ate dinner with us and sat at the table with Quil, Embry and I. Somehow though, she knew someone else here, someone who was sitting at the table along with Emmett.

She waved at Jo? I watched in shock as Jo got up from her seat and came towards our table smiling at Bells. They hugged as soon as Jo got over to us and started talking about old stories. I just watched as they chatted for a few minutes and Bella turned towards me, seeing the questions in my eyes, and finally explained how she knew Jo.

“Jake, I’ve known Jo for years. Jo’s dad used to be the fire chief at Forks Fire department. Him and Charlie are best friends, I went to elementary school all the way through high school with Jo,” she told me, then she turned towards Jo. “When did you get back? The last I heard you were at Harvard getting your law degree.”

“I’ve been back for about a month Bella. As for Harvard, um, I gave up on the law degree and came back, finally telling my dad what I truly wanted to do, and well, here I am.”

“Well, I’m glad you here, I’ve missed you. How are you doing around all these guys?” Bells asked her. After that they started talking about guys and shit so I tried to tune it all out. I didn’t even want to hear Bells say she thought any of them were cute.

I watched as Cullen walked in the room and darted straight into line to get some food, then hurried over to their table where another woman, that usually wasn’t here, was sitting by Emmett. Once he got over to where she was, she looked up at him and I knew that must be his woman. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about him taking Bells away from me.

My attention was pulled back towards our table as Jo left to go finish her dinner and Bells started talking to me again.

She stayed long enough for dinner to be over then she left, but before she could leave I pulled her into my arms for a big hug and told her she was doing the right thing going to school. I told her to be happy. She told me she would be leaving in a week, but she promised to be back for thanksgiving.

I told her how much I would miss her, but I made her promise to e-mail me or call me and tell me everything. I even said I loved her, and of course she took it like I knew she would- like I meant it as a friend, but in my heart I didn’t. I loved Bells with all my heart and soul and had for a long time. I just wish I knew how to make her see that.

I watched as Bells got in her truck and drove out of my life for a while. But she would be back, and for that I was happy.

As I headed back in after watching Bella’s tail lights disappear, I saw Edward saying goodbye to his girl too. I almost felt bad for him, he looked like he didn’t want her to go, but we had a early class in the morning, and she wouldn’t really be aloud to stay.

I went ahead and went inside and gave him his time to say goodbye. I had a eerie feeling though and got worried about Bells, so I called her cell real quick when I got inside and got my cell phone out of my room. She said she was already at home and safe so I just passed it off as nothing. Then I heard the alarms go off for Forks department and everyone was yelling.

I watched it all happen, but then I saw something that truly pissed me off. Edward, who isn’t even a firemen yet, got to go on the truck and to the call. I was more then pissed off, I was steaming. Then I found out that it was that girl he had here in the car wreck and that she wasn’t doing too good. That’s when I realized that it could have been Bella and that scared the shit out of me. I would have jumped on the truck if I hadn’t heard from her a few minutes earlier and knew she was safe, I wouldn’t have cared if they told me no.

I couldn’t be mad after all that. I understood why he went and didn’t fault him one bit for it.

The next couple of weeks were hard for him, we could all see that. Even though I didn’t like him, I really didn’t know him well enough to like him, I still felt bad for him. He wasn’t doing too good, anyone could see that. We all thought he would have quit but he didn’t.

The rest of the time at the academy, we all worked our asses off. Bells called me all the time and that made me happy because every time she called she sounded happy. The happiest I had ever heard her really, she had a few new friends even.

After everything, all the tests, all the agility tests and written ones were all over, I actually passed and got my position at La Push Fire Department, so did Quil and Embry.

It was the day of our graduation and we were all ready. What I didn’t know was that Bella was there and that she had a huge surprise for me.

I listened through all the stupid normal speeches, then it was time for them to call us up there and we were to be pinned.

When it was my turn to go up there I looked up thinking I was going to find my dad, but it wasn’t only my dad standing there, Bells was standing there next to him. She was smiling right at me as I walked up on stage, she was the one with my badge in her hand. I walked up to her and stood before the woman that I loved, knowing I totally had a cheesing smile on my face, but this was a great feeling. I had done it, I had done this by myself, for myself. I was going to be a firemen and help save other lives.

As Bella pinned me with my badge, an overwhelming feeling of pride swept through me. I could see how much pride Bella had for me in her eyes, and knowing that she felt that way made me the happiest man alive. Maybe one day I would be able to tell her that.

After the long ass graduation ceremony, I watched Bells head out towards her truck, she told me she forgot something out there. I watched as Edward Cullen bumped right into her.

He bumped right into my Bella and didn’t even say sorry or anything, he made sure she had her balance and walked off, what the fuck is up with that guy? Damn I want to fuck him up. I ran towards her to make sure she was okay.

“Bella, are you okay?” She looked at me all spaced out and shit. “Bella…Bella,” I said, waving my hand in front of her face.

“Oh, yeah Jake I’m fine. Who was that?” she asked me.


“That guy that fucking almost knocked you down, that’s Cullen. He’s a fucking ass. Are you sure you’re okay?” She nodded her head.

I wrapped my arms around my best friend and helped her to her truck. When we got there, she got something out of the cab of the truck and handed it to me. It was a box, wrapped in wrapping paper that said congratulations all over it. Her smile lit up her whole face, making me smile in return. I loved seeing her happy.

I ripped off the paper and opened the box, it was a shirt, that had a firefighter on the back that said ‘We fight what you fear’. I loved it, it could have been a piece of coal or something and I would have loved it because it came from her.

“I love it. Thanks Bella.” I grabbed her and pulled her into me hugging her close. I never wanted to let her go. I wanted to keep her with me forever.

I closed my eyes letting my mind wander to what it would be like to be with her. To have her as mine and not just as my friend. To make sweet passionate love to her. To always smell her strawberry shampoo, to slowly take her clothes off and kiss her all over. I slowly let my hands travel all over her sweet, smooth skin.

I slowly laid her down on my bed, her eyes begging me to take her. I planted soft open mouthed kisses on her jaw, moving to her ear, down her neck then to her breasts. I took one into my mouth and gently tugged, hearing her moan with the pleasure I was giving her. Leaning up, I softly whispered her name, “Bella, I love you.” She smiled at me and I let my hand travel all the way down to her core, dipping my finger inside of her and she’s already wet and ready for me.

When I pulled my finger out, I let my thumb travel up to her clit, making slow circles, massaging it and making her moan again. She was withering under my touch. I slipped a second finger into her and she bucked her hips at me. I smiled loving the reaction I was getting from her.

She pulled away all to soon, snapping me out of my little day dream of us. I smiled at her and her smile was just as big.

“Hey, I was going to get you one that said ‘Take them down leave them wet’. We both laughed at that. I loved to hear her laugh, Bella had been through a lot in her life, but we were always there for each other. I just wished that I could tell her that I loved her.

“How long are you here for Bells?” I asked her.

“A week, then I have to head back to school, but I will be back for Thanksgiving like I said.”

I smiled at her and hugged her again.

“Bells, thanks for coming and doing this, you have no idea what that meant to me. Really Bells, I will never forget this day, ever.” I could still she that pride in her eyes.

“I was so happy to do that for you Jake, I’m so proud of you. You did it all by yourself. I’m so happy for you.” I grabbed her around the waist again and hugged her tight.

A couple days later I said goodbye to the woman I loved without telling her what she meant to me.

Little did I know it would be the worst mistake of my life…

Posted in: Chasing Fire